So there has always been this battle between Men and Women. What is allowed, what is acceptable, what is crazy, what is stupid. It's like a long, long lists of DO's and DO NOT's. And in today's world with all the new technology it just seems to be getting worse. Guys are worried about girls fishing through e-mail or cellphones. Letting that crazy streak out.
However the worst piece of technology I have found in the equation would have to be Facebook. In the past, before Facebook and Myspace, guy's relationships with friends, girl and guy alike has been a semblance of mystery to women. We only knew what we were allowed to know. The cheating bf's never got caught, the flirting bf's never got caught and even the best of the best never gave a women cause to outright worry or get annoyed.
Nowadays everything is pasted in front of our eyes. True colors are shown, true spirits laid out in front of you. I was messing about on the web of facebook friends and newsfeeds and I came across some comments my bf put on some of his friends photos. His FEMALE friends.
Then another day I come across photos, that while innocent, make me want to puke. And well I know that that is stupid and petty and all manners and forms of dumb. Because well he is with me, he loves me, so what should it matter right?
But it does matter. It's stupid but it weasels it's way into your heart this sort of mix between anger and jealousy and just *hurt*. Which is ridiculous. He is a great boyfriend. He's truthful with me and forthcoming. He doesn't pretend to be anyone or anything else. He is who he is and what he does or says behind my back is the same stuff he does or says to my face. And I love him for that. But as much as it makes me happy that our relationship is no holds barred (what does that even truly mean?) it also hurts me. I get all the best and all the worst like it or not.
To show you just how amazing and truthful he is I'll let you in on a tibit. He goes out with a group of friends, mixed company and a picture is taken. Before the person who took the picture even has the time to consider putting it up on facebook he tells me about it. He says it's completely innocent but might not appear that way and wanted to tell me before I saw it. So of course I picture this horribly inappropriate picture that will make me want to pull my eyes out. I'm stalkin the girls FB everyday to see if she put it up. After days of not seeing it and driving myself crazy, her, another friend and I go out for drinks and I ask to see it. She says she's glad he told me and when I see it, it's absolutely not inappropriate at all. I blew the entire thing out of proportion in my head worrying an it was nothing. I felt stupid. Relieved but ridiculous.
So today seeing those pictures as much as they bother me I know they mean nothing and I'm overreacting. However I can't seem to help feeling the way I do. It annoys me that I feel the way I do and I react the way I do. The pictures just make me so insecure and uncomfortable.
That reason is exactly why I sometimes think that people who are dating shouldn't be friends on myspace or facebook, hell even twitter. There are just times where things can be taken the wrong way or create uncomfortable situations because of stupidity. What happened to the good old days when he would flirt with his friends, you would flirt with your friends and none was the wiser?
There are many a moment I wish we could return to that time. Because as much as I love the bf and know he's in love with me and is with me because he wants to be and because he wants no other but me...I still manage to want to scream/jump out a window/throw a fit when I see some of the pictures, comments, etc on FB.
Here's to being better then FB and not letting it or my stupid unruly emotions break me.
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