So as much as lately I've been having moments of just unhappy feelings that I can't explain, control or even begin to understand I must say I have been so incredibly happy.
I know I've said it before but I am so very much in love with the bf.
Everyday I've been waking up more and more invested in these feelings. So overtaken by my love that I can't even breathe without smiling, can't close my eyes without seeing him, think of rubbing my hand on the back of his neck as we kiss, press my head against his own. Just honestly connect with him.
There are just so many things in the world that we- that I - can not control. There are just too many angry or sad moments. Too many "what ifs" and "how comes". So many regrets and embarrassments and I just, I've come to notice that taking a moment to take in a breath and take harness of the feelings that rush through me when I think of being with him. This intense comfort and just peace at finding this one person that just loves me, overcomes me.
He loves me. Strongly and truly. Through the fights and the tears, the obvious pile of baggage that I carry. Just loves me and wants to make me happy even when it makes him upset. That selfless love that is uncontrollable, complex and complicated.
I think of all these words and feelings and my hopes for the future and all I can think, Bloggers and readers among me, is that at this moment, with this man, I am by far the happiest person I could ever be. And even though I know things get harder and life is never easy, I know in my heart, that this is the Man i was meant to be with. This man who knows me and still loves me. Who cares for me and fights with me and builds me up and tears me down and all the good and bad combined...we were meant for one another. I feel that so deep in my heart. I know it.
I'm just so very happy to have found him and have him in my life. I'm just truly and deeply satisfied, so very satisfied with loving him.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
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