Driving is Freedom, But Freedom Has Needs : A Tale of Ups and Downs

So I went to my cousin Amy's Wedding with the bf and the rest of my family. I was afraid it was gonna be really awkward having him there. And it kinda was, but not near the extent I thought it would be. I was afraid because, well because, we had never been in that type of situation before. I had never brought him, let alone anyone to a wedding. Also we had never been put in any kind of slow dancing situation. Which I gotta say is quite odd since we shall hit our 2 year anniversary this August. Anyway it was nice, I cried and we ate a lot of food. Sadly though, because of the way the reception hall was situated I missed out on a few things. Like the garter removal and some of the goofiness that happens when the bridal party drinks too much. There was also the fact that the bf isn't much of a dancer so I was on the floor more often then he was so I felt bad leaving him alone. Then of course there was the embarrassment of my family initiating him in by making him dance or dancing around him. He however was a very amazing sport and took everything very well. And I love him for it.

Then of course came my birthday on the 14th. Not many people have ever really made a big thing about my birthday. You know those friends who take you out or plan gatherings or pub crawls so you could get totally blasted? Yeah, I've never had those. And the ones I had like that away at college could never really do anything for me since my birthday always landed in the summer while we were all home. Anyway the bf invited a bunch of people to a bar and we went out drinking and it was fun and made me really really happy.

On my actual BirthDAY I went to work and came home to a family party with delicious food and a yummy icecream cake from Baskin Robbins. The Boyfriend came over and it was a really great night.

I was set to take my drivers test on the 15th and was super worked up, stressed and utterly nervous out of my mind for it. On Saturday the 12th I find out that it was rescheduled to June 24th. I was mad, hurt, disappointed, relieved and well just a total mess. Now that I look back though I realize if I had taken it that Tuesday I most likely would have failed. By the 24th I felt very "whatever" about the test so I was relatively unstressed and no one wished me luck or spoke with me about it. When I got to the actual test I just breathed and listened to the radio with my instructor until it was my turn. The test seemed to go really fast and when I parked I was way too far from the curb. I told the test guy this and he told me to fix myself. Eighty million rapid heartbeats and 5 deducted points for excessive maneuvering in parking later, I was dubbed a license driver and happily now have the physical license to prove it.

I'm still waiting for a solid career type job. I'm still at home and my family still drives me bonkers at times. I still feel utterly stuck and lost and hopeless but things are kinda looking up for me.

I need to put my fears aside, take deep breaths and learn to grab life by the reigns...easier said then done though obviously.

On the plus side my sister is on vacation in Cali so I've been getting a lot more alone time. The boyfriend is positively amazing and patient with me as often and as much as I could ever possibly even ask him to be and things though still hard are hopefully on their way up.

So I leave you with this quote and hopes for betterment to myself and my life:

"Things turn out best for those who make the best of the way things turn out." ~ Jack Buck