So I love my Bf. And our job is pretty sweet. However this week one of the girls took off on a cruise vacation for two weeks. So who is covering her shift?? No, not me. Though I understand why your mind would assume that much. No, he is. So my poor boyfriend is working one more shift then his normal work week, not to mention days instead of his usual nights. Cool right? Wrong. Now his shifts are 8am throughout the day till 12 am. Which not only means that he has no time to do anything or make any real meals all week but it also means that I can't see him during the day. Now he's always tired and well, he had said this week that he realized he can't remember the last time we went out for dinner and that we should go out today...Problem with that? Besides the fact he got out of work late and thought we should take a nap before we go...he's asleep. And I want to be cuddled up beside him, I do, I just can't manage to sleep. I can't sleep and I wanted to go out today. Does that make me selfish? Probably. He's so tired so i don't want to wake him or say anything so here I sit in the living room wishing he were more I dunno himself? But I can't blame him. This job has been draining the life out of him. Which really sucks because it's been draining the life out of me too. So here we are, two lifeless individuals. Which wouldn't be so bad except I miss when we went places and did things and he wanted to party with me and drink and flirt.
I mean we're only gonna be 2 years in...is it all down hill from now? Are the conversations gonna get shorter, the outing less, the passion dwindling? God, I hope not.
I don't think I'd care at all if it weren't for the fact that he does things with his friends. Out for drinks, out for lunch. And well I do nothing. Because my friends are lacking and my life social life or lack there of totally sucks.
I want to be fun again. Want it to be like when we first started dating. When he couldn't get enough of me and wanted to take me out and show me off. When our nights were more then tv, eating dinner at home, sleep and the occasional bump and grind that is starting to feel more like a chore for him or a necessity, rather then something he wants or can't do without.
Don't get me wrong. I like the domesticated aspect of it all. It's refreshing to know I'm in a stable relationship. I am so very much in love with him and I know he loves me too...but sometimes I just feel...I dunno taken for granted?
Ugh just saying that makes me sick with myself. He's a great guy, a wonderful boyfriend. He loves me insanely and does tons for me. Often goes above and beyond for me. But he also jokes alot and lately is tired more often then not. And when he's tired he likes his space or just wants to sleep every moment. It's starting to eat away at me. I know it's stupid, or selfish or whatever. I just can't help feeling like a unnecessary part of his life. Like he'd be better off doing his own thing or at least would enjoy it more...
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